


my secretary who is in love with me.

by aspiringaspie



Category: American Psycho - All Media Types
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Falling In Love, Hallucinations, Love at First Sight, Mild Gore, Mild Sexual Content, POV First Person, Short, Violent Thoughts, violence tag is just in case, what a juxtaposition
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:08:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25266634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aspiringaspie/pseuds/aspiringaspie
Summary: Patrick interviews for a new secretary.
Relationships: Patrick Bateman/Jean
Comments: 5
Kudos: 21





	my secretary who is in love with me.

**Author's Note:**

> a lil drabble for patjean!! patrick is patrick, so tw for mentions of gore and violence and sexual stuffs.

My workout at the gym had been particularly long and brutal today. Four times I looped Genesis’s  _ Invisible Touch  _ while doing ten sets of ten repetitions at the leg machines, fifteen sets of twenty repetitions for the back, and seven sets of fifteen at the machine for stomach crunches. I think I must have been there for two, maybe three hours. Long enough for Craig McDermott and Jamie Conway to dress themselves for work and leave, discussing important things like the differences between distilled and purified water, or which of their hardbody trainers that morning were the hottest. I would have joined, but I’d been determined to strengthen my core today, to truly show off the definition in my body. Walking towards my office at Pierce & Pierce and listening to “Land of Confusion,” I pretend not to notice that David Van Patten is staring, jealous that all the hard work I’ve put into my body has paid off. I hope he notices my smug grin.

I’m interviewing a new secretary today. After my last one had disappeared under mysterious circumstances, I figured I still needed someone to follow orders, not to mention a pretty face to look at while I slogged around the office all today. I’m an hour late to work due to my vigorous routine at Xclusive today, which gives me less time to prepare for whoever may walk through my door today. She’ll probably be blonde, a hardbody, with too much makeup that she thinks is flattering, and she’ll probably bat her eyelashes at me and ask me what I do for a living. I’ll consider taking her out for lunch after the interview. I’ll consider taking her back to my place and fucking her decapitated head tonight.

In preparation for what’s to come, I’m wearing a six-button double-breasted pinstriped suit by Ralph Lauren, with a spread-collar, pencil-striped Sea Island cotton shirt with French cuffs (also by Polo), pleated trousers by Armani, a silk tie by Valentino Couture, and shoes by Ferragamo. I know my new secretary will be impressed in my choice of clothing. She won’t be able to take her eyes off of me. Sitting at my desk, I flick my Rolex out and check the time, remembering that she’s to arrive today at 10:00 AM. I turn towards my computer terminal to pass the time, envisioning what she will look like, and wondering if I should make reservations at Harry’s or Pastel’s for lunch today. I switch out the Genesis tape then and slip in Huey Lewis and the News’s _Fore!,_ closing my eyes and envisioning myself in one of my favorite horror films, _Body Double,_ which accidentally makes me hard as I imagine myself to be the killer, using a drill to slaughter a helpless woman.

Somewhere, in my haze of gore-filled fantasies and pornographic hallucinations, I realize that there is someone outside my door, knocking. I pause my Walkman and reach into the pocket of my trousers, pulling out an orange prescription bottle of Halcion. Swallowing two pills dry, I pull off my headphones, compose myself, and gesture for my newest victim to enter. “Come in.”

The door opens, and I don’t know how to think. She’s not what I expected. My mouth dries up. I’d been unprepared for this, and I’m suddenly grateful for the Halcion I’d taken not a minute ago. Standing in the doorway is a woman who is not a hardbody, dressed in clothing that isn’t quite cheap, though not quite expensive either. I can tell that her white, silken blouse is from Chanel, though I cannot place her pants (Barney’s, maybe), and her shoes (white sneakers, not heels) are probably from Reebok, which is unfathomable. l consider this to be completely inappropriate, but then I notice her chestnut curls tumbling over her shoulders in waves, impeccably styled, and the fact that she isn’t wearing any earrings. More notably, her makeup isn’t heavy, perfectly applied to show off her features, in fact.

“Hello,” she introduces herself, her voice gentle, sweet. “Uh...my name is Jean...”

I do not catch her last name, but it doesn’t matter. I stand, holding out my hand for her. “Patrick Bateman. You’re here for the interview?”

Her cheeks flush a rosy color as she shakes my hand, and instantly I know I’ve won her over. A confident grin spreads across my face as I gesture her to pull up a chair and sit down, seating myself.

“So, Jean-Jean _ -Jean... _ ” I test her name on my tongue, liking the way it sounds, and it makes her giggle. I pull out a notepad and a number 2 pencil, pretending to write in it. “Tell me about yourself.”

She crosses one leg over the other and starts talking, but I don’t hear her. I’m fascinated by how humble she is, how gentle — a  _ warmbody. _ I trust her, and I already know that she’s hired, but I want to keep this going for as long as I can. I write  _ Jean  _ multiple times, feeling satisfied, comforted.

“Interesting...” I mumble, asking her then why she wants to work at P&P. Her eyes sparkle, and the way she lights up is so beautifully naïve I find myself almost pitying her. If she knew who I was, would she be disappointed? If she knew that I was no one, would she still want me in the way that she does? I consider what she would look like naked, but the thought doesn’t linger.

“Jean,” I say, taking her in, watching how quickly she goes silent, “where do you...shop?”

Her blush darkens, and she laughs nervously. “Where...do I shop?”

“Yes, for your clothes,” I explain, as if it’s obvious.

“Well…” She bites the inside of her cheek, and I’m transfixed by her glossy lips. “Most of my clothes I, uh...I shop at, erm,  _ Tiffany’s, _ and...”

I know she’s lying, I can read it plain as day, but it’s all I need to hear. Jean isn’t like the other hardbodies, or my previous secretary. Jean is also in love with me, and I think it’s real. I have an inkling that she doesn’t even know where my suit is from, nor the scent of cologne I’ve applied. Perfect. I intend to keep her.

“Well, Jean, I usually don’t say this on the day of the interview,” I lie, flashing my teeth, “but you are  _ hired.” _

I watch as shock hits her, and I’m not only pleased, but I find my chest being filled with an indescribable and comfortable  _ warmth. _

“Really?” she asks, and I nod. “Oh, god...thank you so much, uh, Mr. Bateman—”

_ “Please, _ Jean,” I insist, rising from my seat and walking around my desk. “Call me Patrick.”

“Right,  _ Patrick,” _ she confirms, on her feet again, shaking my hand. “Sorry, this is just...it’s so  _ unexpected.” _

“Trust me, Jean, you’re the  _ perfect _ fit.” My charisma has an effect on her no doubt, and I watch as she practically fawns over me. Yes, I think, she’s perfect and I won’t kill her. There’s no reason for me to. “You’ll start first thing tomorrow, 8:00 on the dot.”

She nods, and I consider inviting her to lunch, but decide against it. I want her to be safe, because she’s my secretary, and she’s someone who I want to keep around. An image of her in a wedding gown flashes in my head as she leaves, and it disturbs me enough that I sit at my desk, silent and staring at nothing, for an hour. Perhaps I’ll end up marrying her one day. Jean is different. Jean is my secretary.

My secretary who is in love with me.

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to leave comments and also maybe check out my longer patjean fic “someone good” 🥺


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